Sitting

When I’m sitting on my favourite beach, in the sun, with a coffee, post run, having me-time; life is pretty blinkin’ good! I’m really lucky. I have two beautiful daughters, a partner who loves and supports me in everything I do. My family all live close by, and show me endless love and support, and my friends are great, crazy, funny, beautiful all in their own individuals ways, plus they let me be their friend!

I live in a beautiful part of the world, I love my job, I’m basically my own boss, I’m healthy and happy. So it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, why I suffer with anxiety. It’s not there all the time, but when it comes it’s usually from nowhere. There is the odd time when it rears its head, and I can go “Ok. Cool. Yes, I don’t much like this situation so I can feel anxious”.

My friends and family will tell you that I am a strong person, and can deal with most of what is thrown at me. But anxiety doesn’t make me feel like that. If anything I see it, in myself, as a weakness. But if you were to tell me that you suffer with anxiety and you are talking about it, facing it, not letting it rule you, or beat you – I’d think you were fab and strong! It’s funny how we see ourselves isn’t it!

My understanding, and its by no means scientific is this. Anxiety is normal. We need it to survive. It’s a protection response. Mine however doesn’t know when to stop, it’s lost it’s trip switch! So I need to act as the trip switch. I use meditation, mindfulness, exercise, healthy eating, lists and breathing to control it. It doesn’t always work. But you have to try, and you have to remember that that feeling won’t last forever. You will be ok.